Trying to be an adult

ughhh!!! This is not supposed to be that hard you know. I mean it’s all I ever dreamed about. Having a great job that i loved, having a great partner that could understand me so well and would do well on his own, buying whatever you want, eating whatever you want and may be, eventually settling down. Having a small house with big gardens, a dog, a great husband and a cute child. That was what i thought “adult” life would be. But, god! this is so hard. I mean I’m  not even an close to being an adult but my age says that I’m about to be one,in couple of years. I’ll be graduating in a two years. Have a job and a career to focus on. But.. I really don’t think I wanna be an adult. Seriously. I mean people don’t have a choice. They will eventually be an adult. Only depends how useful or useless they are gonna be as an “adult”. But eventually, they will be.

And knowing that you can’t stop it. That you’d be an adult and you have either a choice to carry on and lead a good life or not carry on and have a weird life, is kinda intimidating. I am not ready to be an adult as I have nothing figured out. For God sake! I don’t know what I am gonna do with life. I don’t know what career I want!

See, it’s all messed up! And I’m scared af. I don’t know whether I’ll able to face it all. I don’t know if I will  ever get what I want. But, I guess there is not much choice,  You just have to face it either ways. Adulthood in on your way dear! Don’t stop trying.



“Your value is judged by others based on their perspective and experience in life but your real value is only in your hands”

I guess sometimes you kind of lose your sanity. You lose all your power to think and your power to understand. You believe that you are right and whatever you see is the ultimate truth because it has to be right? I mean you are always correct.


Sometimes, no most of the times you’re perspective is so narrow that you don’t allow anyone to go through it. You think from such a small dimension that you, yourself is not able to see what the other person might be going through. Someone said today “Your value is judged by others based on their perspective and experience in life but your real value is only in your hands”. And may be you are judging someone on the basis of only what you have gone through.

It’s stupid to throw tantrums at others just because they aren’t doing as you are. May be somewhere in your heart you want them to be exactly as you are. But, I think you are forgetting a major factor that people are beautiful because each person is different than the other. Our uniqueness doesn’t degrade us but rather enhances the beauty of the human kind.

Sometimes you’re words hurt someone too deep. And you regret it much later. You try to get over it by writing a long post on social medias and stuffs. But regrets remain. There is no other way out. If your words hurt them, then make them feel better by words again.

I’m sorry.


It’s just a thing, not your life..

Human beings have that tendency to get attached to materialistic stuffs. And we often believe that materialistic pleasure are real. We get so attached to things that we eventually think things are a part of us. Things seems like a human to us.

Recently, someone stole my phone. Yeah, that exact phone which had been in my hand for about 7 months without even missing a day. My phone had been my friend, my entertainment, my answering machine, my storage house, my selfie booth and many more. But within in an hour i lost it.. and it hasnt been found yet. I had a very hard time dettaching myself from my phone. I know it sounds funny, but my phone was pretty much my best friend. It kept me companied, saved me from a lot of awkward conversation/social event and didnt let me travel alone. It had gone on many trips with me and we had shared many beautiful moments. But when i lost it, i lost a part of me. Then i realised, it was just a phone, not my life. 

I realized it wasnt only me who loved her dear phone(tabs,laptops)like a mother loves her baby, most of just do. And they cant and arent able to dettach themselves from it.

Now, the real question is.. is it good or bad? 

I think it’s neither. Too much of anything is poison, someone said. So, I believe, getting attached to stuffs isnt much of a harm, but putting your entire life on a gadget and thinking that its everything(like i did) isn’t good. After all it’s just a gadget, not your life.

A world of lies…

Don’t you ever wonder how hypocrite our society is? It says how accepting your true self wins over external beauty. You can see a lot.. and i mean a LOT of quotes and blogs on being “Yourself”. But when you actually do, someone will surely comment “oh no dear,  don’t be so awkward.”

Now, i wonder what this “awkward” is. Just because i am not following the so called “trend” i am awkward? or is it because i am being a rebel and not willing to nod to everything that everyone else is doing? I am tagged as “awkward” or “indifferent” from the rest just because i choose to make myself happy and not think about what others might think?

I don’t really understand the core need to be accepted by others to feel truly good about yourself.Should i feel good about me when i am happy with who i am and what i have become or should i get overwhelmed with joy when someone says something sweet about me?We are human beings, and i get the need for “social acceptance”. But, why do we seek this desire to feel accepted so bad that we don’t really see ourselves and our happiness?

The world is full of lies.. they preach about “being true” and “being yourself” but all they ever do is just follow the trend. When you actually be who you are and start doing according to your interest, you have changed some how. You aren’t the person you were… they say.